References

Sometimes an applicant will be very concerned about reference checks and worry that if they give the reference number for a previous employer who is not prepared to give a glowing reference that they will not get the next job. The alternative is then to "lie" about the reference. The problem with that scenario is that a lie always catches up with you and ultimately it is the lie that ruins your reputation and prevents you from ultimately getting work.

It is clearly a problem when a previous employer is disgruntled and wants to sabotage you from ever finding work again. However, this would be "illegal". An employer may not have had the best experience with someone, but short of some serious offenses like, stealing, lying, and hurting one's child, it is preferable that the employer make an effort to provide a reasonable reference. What is mandatory by the Labor Department is that the employer state the facts regarding "employment verification." In other words, the employer is obligated to state the dates of employment and duties thereby verifying that the employee indeed did work for the employer the designated time performing certain tasks.

So what should the employee do when she/he suspects a "bad" reference? My suggestion is to sit down and ask politely that the employer please give you the benefit of the doubt and while you may not have another chance with this particular employer, you are asking to please provide you with a reasonable reference so that you may get the opportunity to work again. This is a good time to "apolgize profusely" for whatever you did to upset your employer.

What should the employer do when he/she simply does not feel it possible to give any good reference besides the mere verification aspect of employment? My suggestion is that the employer find it in your heart to forgive and provide suggestions as to how one can improve their work ability, ethics, etc. and make the next job successful. If you can improve one's life and be the one to teach another how to do something that will improve their livelihood, doesn't this make you a better person? This person may not be right for you, but you can certainly help this person find the right match and offer suggestions.

It is not a good thing when any relationship ends in such a sour note that no one learns nor gains anything from the experience.